Monthly Archives: February 2013

Notebook

Clad in yellow

broken, in flecks

of white.

Empty,

longing

to be filled.

White,

blank,

waiting

for me

to fill it.

Blue lines

of demarcation

beckon.

I open my mind

the flow begins.

Empty space

filled with thought.

My ideas

are received

silently, unceasingly.

As the empty space shrinks.

When I finish

I feel spent,

but my notebook

holds it’s breath.

A silent vacuum

in the creation

of my dreams.

It waits to be filled.

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My Wife Makes the Dough

pizza 001 In my family my wife makes all the dough. Which is great for A writer, from New Jersey, who is living in the south. You see where I live you can only get the generic cardboard, chain made pizza. Well, that’s not completely true there are some “Mom and Pop” shops but they just don’t live up to the expectations. So my wife makes the pizza, and dough from scratch. Homemade, over the delivery pizza is just an easy decision.

Besides her pizza is made with love and care, as well as to order. For a carpetbagger living in North Carolina, it’s the best I’ve had here. It’s these small differences that you never calculate, when you move to a new place. Thank Goodness that when I came to the end of my, culinary rope I found her. The cheese is always gooey and melted just right. The delicate blend of spices, the way the dough is firm, yet flexible, it’s a “slice” of joy. It brings us all together for the real treat, talking and sharing!  That my friends is why my wife makes the dough.pizza 002

Fear[terror]

I was going through some older poetry the other day,  looking for some gems. I went through notebook after notebook, and aside from ones I’d already picked for this blog or my book of poems I’m putting together. I didn’t like any of them. Then came the fear.The fear I’m no good at this thing called writing. I had fear I was below adequate at this, my dream. I began to wonder how long I could pull off this sham. I eventually put the books away in disgust, found something else to occupy my time and got my mind off the junk I had just read. The day passed and I screwed up my courage to delve back into the tomes of crap I’d written. To my surprise they had suddenly, overnight become better. I was proud to read them and know I had written them. They had gone from crap to gold(or maybe copper) overnight. Had the literary fairy come and sprinkled some creative dust on them or had she slipped something in my morning coffee. Either way they were better!  I jest, but I think I’ll always have that. The fear that I suck. I read a passage in one of those notebooks from around 8 yrs. ago, and one line stuck out, There was a list of things I love, writing, learning, loving and at the end of the list there was a wish. “I wish I could write better.” It was staring back at me as though I had just written it this morning. There it was, the fear that my words were not good enough. Here I was though reading the same stuff and finding it to be pretty darn good. I think  I’m always nervous, that these words that come from my soul will never be good enough, but then there are the days when you have that supreme confidence and you remember the feeling you had when you wrote that poem or sentence, and you were proud of it, and you knew it was good. Like anything in life, confidence ebbs and flows I think sometimes when it’s ebbing you need to just step away for a while. Maybe while you sleep the literary fairy will come and make your words shine again!

Snow

I woke up yesterday to a beautiful white world. The roofs were shimmering the grass was straining to break through the blanket of white, and touch the sunshine. My backyard which had previously been a place for leaves to go and die, was resplendent in those unique, magnificent crystalline flakes. The world was silent, quiet, only the animals stirred. Walking to the car I was hit by a snowball. My wife was laughing, and instead of wanting to throw one back, I had to pause her hair with the snowflakes in it, floored me. She looked so beautiful like she had angel feathers in her hair, she took my breath away.

A quick kiss, and we were off grocery shopping, as we passed the local golf course I saw one of my favorite things, kids sledding down the hill on the first hole. In that moment I wished I was a kid again with a brand new shiny sled. I wanted to go zipping down the hill, speeding towards that cold snowy,wet ending. My daydream came to an end as we reached the grocery store, I had to return to adulthood. The store was packed, everyone in the south acting as though we were in the northeast. Lines for checkout and no bread or milk, as though these items will somehow shovel your driveway, or melt the ice. I laughed and thought, If they could just enjoy our one little inch of snow instead of worrying they may not have a sandwich and a glass of milk. Buy a sled instead, and whizz down that hill. Enjoy it! Well I’m a “Yankee” and I grew up with it so I may be a bit biased, but there are few things as beautiful as a world dusted with fresh snow!

Whales

I’m watching public T.V. this morning as I shake off the sleepy feeling still lingering from a restless night. Flipping through the channels, trying to find some mindless entertainment to ease my brain into the day. I happened upon a show about whales. They are such beautiful, intelligent creatures. I was lucky enough to see these gentle giants when I was a kid. My wonderful, excellent grandparents took us whale watching off  the coast of Massachussetts when my sister and I were young. They had us because my parents were trying to work on their marriage. It didn’t end up well. There we were though boarding a boat to take us to a place called Provincetown, along the way we got to see these amazing creatures coming up out of the water to say hello. They were wishing us well on our journey. I remember thinking they seemed just as curious about us as we were about them, and that made me smile. It was the smile of a child who first sees the connection of all things on earth. They seemed to have some similar traits as me, playfulness, curiosity, and joy for living.

Well, here I am watching video of whale watching trips off Hawaii, and the people seemed wrapped in as much wonderment as I had on that day off the Massachusetts coast. The program also showed whales in colder seas being chased by Japanese whaling ships, and there behind them were perhaps my new favorite people on earth, the crew of the sea shepherd. If you’ve never heard of them you should learn about them. They follow these horrible Japanese whaling ships trying to disrupt their killing of the whales. They chase these ships, and throw stink bombs and smoke bombs onto the deck of the whalers. They were even boarding the ships. Not violently, just in a disruptive manner. I thought that going to battle for the whales in a frozen sea where any move could be your last, was very heroic. To take your belief and charge after it with such ferocity, for an animal who cannot defend itself is noble. I want to stand on that deck and throw (I have a pretty good arm by the way!) things at these murderers. I want to disrupt or end these killings. We don’t need their blubber to light our lamps anymore, and really cosmetics have come along to the point where there should be no more killings. Synthetics,people, it’s the way of the future!

The Inuit people hunted whales, but they killed only what was necessary. When you have giant ships that kill these animals in an inhumane way and dump those not dead back into the water, I think it’s time that the world stood up and put an end to it!

As a side note, I’m not positive but I believe there is a show about the Sea shepherd on the animal planet. If there is: it’s going on the top of my TIVO list!

 

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